From that moment that you give birth to your bundle of joy, life is never quite the same. While each parent-child relationship is unique, there are some unifying experiences that all parents can identify with. Here’s to mums everywhere.
Your hoover has become part of your interior decoration now as you can’t be bothered to keep putting it away as it needs to be used so darn often…
You haven’t gone to the loo alone in eight years
Every socket in your house has a charger plugged into it
Going food shopping alone is a major treat
You try to have a conversation with someone over the phone but keep having to stop to shout out various reprimands – ‘Don’t eat that’, ‘Get down from there’, ‘Stop throwing your sister around the room’
Even though the sun is blaring you’ve not had time to shave your legs in about four weeks so sweat it out in jeans, rather than expose the hairy wilderness to the public
Every light on the house is on
You start sounding like your own mother… ‘Are you really going out in that?’ ‘There’s plenty more fish in the sea’ ‘Because I said so…’
Going to work counts as a break – hey, at least you can have a cup of tea in peace
The car has become your second home. Sporting activities, parties, playdates, after school clubs – damn, the kids have a better social life than you do!
Your handbag may or may not contain a Hot Wheels car, a piece of lego or a Barbie shoe or two…
You can never have enough food in the house. How can people who are not fully formed adults eat so darn much?
Wet towels adorn your house as if they’re a design feature
Your vocabulary is now littered with words such as noob, grime and lit
You know the words to all the latest songs – or depending on their age – Cbeebies theme tunes!
You think waking up at 7am is a lie-in
You can – or have at least tried to in the past year – floss. And we don’t mean the dental variety!
You’re a balancing master as you can now navigate the lounge floor, which is littered with game controls, lego and LOL dolls, without standing on any of the offending items
All the glasses, cups, plates and cutlery can be found in their bedrooms
You get told constantly that you’re too old to remember what it was like to be their age…
Despite all of the above, you wouldn’t change any of it!
Did we miss anything out? Tell us how you know you’re a mum below in the comments